Picture this: It's late Friday night, and you are just lounging around your living room, minding your own business. All of a sudden, you hear a familar sound...it is the sound of your neighbourhood ice cream truck, speeding on down your street and playing its music loudly enough to wake children out of bed. The date is March 17.

Ok, there is definitely something wrong with this picture...what the hell is my ice cream guy doing crusing around in his truck like this in the middle of March?? Is he insane?? I think he is.

When summer does roll around, you will *never* hear from this guy...he dissapears until about late July, and then he comes back with a vengence.

I have a theory that my ice cream man is out to ruin the neighbourhood (what is left of it anyway).

Case 1:
He will NOT come before six o' clock pm, when everyone is eating dinner. This causes small children to start screaming like maniacs, lest they miss the sacred ice cream man. Their poor parents then have to shell out a few bucks so that this kid will quit crying and eat their dinner...but once the kid gets the ice cream, they have to eat it *right* away. So there goes dinner.

Case 2:
If by some great chance the ice cream man arrives at some sort of a decent hour, he must be chased up and down numerous streets until you can catch up with him. He then proceeds to act rude and haughty with his customers, and is *always* out of the kind of ice cream you want.

It's a damn conspiracy, and I'm out to prove it! I've yet to meet an ice cream man who was sane, so if any of you few ice cream men/women with your sanity intact read this, *please* email me .

I plan on adding to this, once I gather more evidence of the ice cream man conspiracy.

I have received *startling* evidence of the vast pool of insanity where ice cream men dwell...take a look at this!

Submitted by: Amy :

AHH! You are so right!!! I live in FL, where every single vendor of anything is surly, and like our icecream man is no exception! (I was working outside, he comes up and yells "Kid! You want something?!" and I yelled a line of explenatives at him for scaring the poo out of the neighborhood cat) AND on the Daily Show (My one and only news source) they had this article:

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for a Thai Stick.

August 6, 1998 -- A Washington D.C. Good Humor man, has been arrested for allegedly selling pot out of the back of his truck and in the process leaving neighborhood kids in a really good humor.

Parents reportedly first became suspicious after neighborhood children began complaining their nutty buddies were cut with oregano. But the real tip-off came when soft yogurt went up to $300 an ounce -- and the pleasant ice-cream truck jingle meandered into 20 minutes of "I Shot the Sheriff."

In a related story, Ben and Jerry have made a fortune selling ice cream to a large core audience of pot heads known as Vermont.

Police knew something was wrong when they spotted 50 children lying in the street singing along to the ice cream jingle.

There is even more proof!!! Whoopie! They're trying to take over the world along with Wal*Mart and Publix! IEE!


There you have it...even *more* proof of how totally nutty ice cream men are! And you thought I was making it all up...

I received even *more* evidence of the lack of mental stability from someone who has witnessed this craziness firsthand!

gleebs, to shed some light on why all icecream people are crazy...this summer, one of my friends was fired from his highly reputable job of parking cars, and he needed to raise some duckets- quick! he rented an icecream, then shelled out a few hundred bucks to pay for the icecreams, then drove around...really late at night, trying to make back his money. apparently, if YOU ever want to be the icecream man, all you do is rent the truck...the icecream you buy yourself and the money you make is all yours. the worst part about my "friend" the icecream truck driver is that one night, all of his friends were high and had a case of the munchies...they stole ALL his icecream! $500 of his down the drain, stolen by his "friends"...you gotta luv "friends"...boy was he talking like a truckdriver that night...after losing all his savings on the icecream industry, he took the truck, drove it to the ghetto, sold every part for as much as he could, and claimed it had gotten stolen. i think he's back to parking cars again....lj...

The other night, it was again proved to me how psycho ice cream people are. I was outside with my friend, and we were craving ice cream badly because of the extreme temperture. Suddenly, we hear the familar off key sound of the ice cream man's bell. She ran in my house to get money, and I waited in the street to stop the truck. She quickly came back outside, but the truck had not yet come down the street. So we wait oustide for about 15 minutes, but the truck is still not here. We go back in the house, and are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Twenty minutes into the movie, we hear this truck again. I ran outside and ran over to the next street where I heard the bell coming from. I see the truck speeding up to avoid me, but I chased it and ran almost in front of it. It stopped. My friend ran over with the money, and we went over to get our ice cream. My friend had on a tye dyed shirt, and this girl was hanging out of the truck and was all "man, I really dig that shirt!". Oooook. While I was ordering my ice cream, I noticed the freaky hippie chick was smoking pot. I have no problem with people who smoke pot for whatever, but to do so while working where you're with kids? I always knew those ice cream people were weird.

I'm sure I'll have more later...be sure to send any info YOU have to me.