"Happy birthday to you was created for you"

October 27, 1999
4:00 PM
NP:  Babe I'm gonna leave you, Led Zeppelin

A very happy 41st birthday to the wonderful Simon LeBon of Duran Duran, first and foremost. 

Secondly, Duran Duran was voted most underrated band on my new favourite show, The List.  Even though the people on it usually pick sucky stuff, sometimes they do alright.  Also, if you missed T70sS last night, you definitely missed the best eppy of this season, hands down.  I laughed my arse off...even DONNA was good in it.  Ok I'll shutup about random crap now.   Well, no I won't...

I'll tell you about the heroin lady that comes into where I work.  She claims to have a pot bellied pig, and asks us to give her the doughnuts we're throwing out so she can feed it.  Lady, we know you don't have a pig so cut it out.  We do save them for her, because we're nice...but for some reason she never EVER comes by to get them when I'm closing.   She'll come in and ask me to save them, and I'll tell her to come back at about 9:30.  But does she come back?!  No!  She doesn't!  So I leave them until I close, but she doesn't show up.  So I had to throw a 70lb bag of doughnuts in the dumpster and as a result pulled vital muscles in both my legs.  Damn heroin lady.  

"I don't care who's wrong or right, I don't really want to fight no more"

October 25, 1999
4:25 PM
NP:  Gepetto; Belly

I got in yet ANOTHER fight with my friend today...I don't know what it is, but we are always fighting about something.  It only lasts a day or so, but we're both so damn stubborn.  I am always the one to reconcile, though, because I'd be super pissed if our friendship got ruined over a stupid fight.  And believe me, the fights are SO incredibly stupid.  Usually I get pissed at him for some trivial thing he did that got to me, and then he gets mad at me for getting mad at him.  I know, we're retarded, you don't need to tell me.  You see, I'm a very sensitive person...I just don't show it.  I mean, yeah, some people would say that about me, but most people don't recognise that I'm that way and proceed to get to me without even knowing it.  Then I get pissed, and don't talk to them and they get mad at me for being "queer" (yeah, it's wicked "queer" to ignore someone you're pissed at...), and I, in turn, go home all upset over it, and my insomnia starts kicking in.  I'm a chronic insomniac, but it doesn't hit me unless something is bothering me (except in the summer, where it CONSTANTLY hits me), and I then get even more annoyed about the whole thing because I've lost sleep over it.   Speaking of sleep, I've been having some weird dreams lately...

The night before last, I had a dream that I went to a restaurant with some friends (which I actually did that night) and we were waiting to be seated when I spotted one of the guys from N*Sync at a table alone.   For some reason I decided to go sit with him, but the waiter pulled me over and said that sitting with one of the N*Sync guys was going to cost me 100 dollars (some of my keys are broken on the keyboard because I spilled tea on it this morning, deal with it).   Since I really don't give a shit about them, I was not going to waste money to sit with one of them.  Then JC walked by me and led me to a table where Joey (yes, I know their names...shutup!) was sitting.  I sat down and proceeded to make out with him.   I later moved on to JC, and another guy whose name I don't know.  Then I woke up and was so freaked out.  I really don't have any desire to make out with anyone in N*Sync, so I have no freaking clue what that dream was about.  Then last night, I dreamt (dreamed?) that I was a roadie for Kid Rock, and made out with him backstage after one of his shows.  After we were done he turned on the tv, and the news was on saying someone named John had died.  I woke up and was totally grossed out (Kid Rock?!?!), but later on in the day I found out that one of our senators had died.  John Chafe.  What in the HELL is going on?? 

Finally, does anyone remember the tv show The State?  Because that show fucking ROCKED and the only person I know who remembers it is my friend Emily, whose house I used to sleep over to watch the show way back in sixth grade, so that doesn't really count.  I SO want to see that show again...

"Got no time baby got lots of better things to do"

October 22, 1999
3:11 pm
NPIMH:  Notorious, Duran Duran

I know, I know.  The page didn't work last night.   For some reason you can't see tables on netscape or something, but I'm thinking it was just stupidarse FrontPage because it sucks major assage.  I would use another editor, but this one is sooo easy and quick, and I never have time for anything so I shall continue to use the tool of the devil.

I really am pretty busy lately though.  At 4 I have to go to the mall and get the finishing touches for my costume for the scavanger hunt at my school tomorrow night.  Tomorrow I have the Hunt and dance (which is causing me much anxiety; more on that later).  Sunday morning I have to work, and then of course Sunday is football day and I have to do a shitload of homework for my Western Civ. class.   See next weekend would be busy too, because it's homecoming.  But am I going?   No, of course not.  I don't really want to get into that though. 

Ok now here is my problem with the Hunt tomorrow.   After the Hunt, there's a dance that you HAVE to go to if you go to the Hunt, which I am.  Well earlier in the week, I asked my friend to the prom (I know it's sooo early, but someone beat me to asking him to homecoming and I didn't want that to happen again) and he said he'd go as long as I promised to dance.  You see, I don't dance.   At all.  I don't have any sense of rhythem, and I look like an idiot attempting it.  But, my friend is ALL about dancing.  It's scary how good a dancer he is, because guys usually hate dancing or will only dance when they're drunk, or are good dancers but happen to be gay.  So anyway, I told him I would, because I was figuring I had a few months to practice.  But then I realised that the Hunt dance is tomorrow and now I'm freaking out.  If I don't dance, he might not go with me.   But if I do, I am going to look like an ass.  I will look like an ass anyway, because I'm going to be dressed like Britney Spears in her "Baby One More Time..." video, but that's besides the point.  What's a girl to do?

"People livin' in competetion"

October 21, 1999
4:31 pm NP:  Heart of Glass, Blondie

Why must everyone feel the need to compete with each other constantly?  It's annoying as hell.  Por ejemplo, there is this one girl who no matter what the situation is, always has to compete with me.  It's over the stupidest things, you wouldn't even believe it.  Like, she picked a fight with me over my protein intake.  We were at blunch after the PSATs last week, and I was saying something about taking protein supplements because I don't eat meat...

Her:  "Do you eat chicken?"
Me:  "Sometimes..."
Her:  "That's protein!!!!"
Someone else:  "Yeah but that's not enough protein...as much as someone who always eats--"
Her:  "That's PROTEIN!"

She also argues with me over such things as Best Buy being better than Circuit City (it SO is), getting the front seat in AJ's car, the PSATs, and how much smarter she is than me.  Pfft. 

I know my page has like nothing on it right now, but I'm going to fix that up as soon as I get a free second, so don't worry your pretty little head about it.  I was just annoyed at everything clashing and such.  I might change it more, but I haven't decided yet.  I'm sick of the old format.  It just wasn't doing anything for me.  Coincidently, everyone and their mum has been changing their pages around in the past few days or so, but I've been planning this for weeks so shut yer trap.  I'm really in the mood to do something new and different.  For me, at least.  My other page I've not updated for a very long time.  I don't want it to die, but I hardly have enough time to work on one page, let alone two.   Between homework, work, school, and my miniscule social life, I have very little time to go online.  The little time I do have I spend talking to friends or catching up on reading other pages.  It's hard to just sit down and write something of worth when you've been working your arse off all the live long day.  My brain is tired after a day of school, and then I come home and do homework.  After that it's pretty much burned out for the night.  Maybe that's why I'm babbling right now.  Hmm.  


October 14, 1999
3:40 pm
NP:  Role Model, Eminem

I'm going to be redoing this page soon...you see, I have CONTENT here and that makes it difficult for me to redesign the whole damn thing every few months, so I'm going to just make the background colour white on all the pages because I really hate when people complain how my page doesn't match.  People, I don't give a fuck if it matches.  I don't do this page for design.  Bite me.

In other news, I am so accident prone.   On Friday, I totally fell on my face tripping over NOTHING.  At school.   Walking to the parking lot at the end of the day, which means that every damn person at my school was there.  In front of the principal who asked me if I was ok as I got up and tried to run away as fast as possible.  UGH.  Then today at lunch, I managed to somehow spill soda all over my shirt ...but only in one area.  Guess which one...yep.  That one.  If one more person said 'got milk?' to me I was going to scream.  But you know, because I'm such a moronic klutz, I am beyond being embarrassed.  It just doesn't phase me anymore when embarassing stuff happens.   I just laugh because most of the time it's pretty damn funny. 


"Careless Memories"

October 11, 1999
4:00 pm
NP:  Girls on Film (Salt Tank Mix), Duran Duran

I actually have a real excuse for not updating.  I went to a two day concert (Mixfest) and therefore could not very well update from the rain infested musical pit, could I?  I think not.  It was loads of fun, despite the rain (which also came at last year's Mixfest), and I managed to get my picture taken with two groups as well as get their autographs and spend loads of money on junk.  I went there with $65.  I then paid my friend's mum $35 for tix, leaving me with $30.  I spent roughly $11 on food between the two days, so I was left with $19.  Then I visited the ATM and got $20, which gave me a grand total of $39.   I bought a $14 t-shirt and a $10 Angry Salad cd (to get autographed), leaving me with $15, which I would have spent today on Durany cds, except I traded in some of my crappy cds and didn't have to pay anything.  Cha-ching.   That's my catchphrase, by the way, and if I ever hear anyone else use it I will SO beat him/her to a bloody pulp.  So nyah. 


"La la la la la lies"

October 7, 1999                  

Everything is a lie. 

Everything is a conspiracy.

No, I am NOT eating special brownies.  I don't know what's going on, but everyone is lying to me.  I can't elaborate because everyone and their inbred cousin reads this page and I don't feel like making a big thing about it.   But I swear to you, there is an operation in the works to tear me down.  Down from where, I couldn't tell you.  I've been so depressed for the past two weeks, and its all coming together now.  I'm not some manic depressive nutjob, there are people who are working at this.

Ok I just read that over and it sounds pretty...freaky.   But I assure you, I'm not losing it.  That happened years ago.  It just seems like there is a group of people working together to destroy me, but these people are not my enemies in any way shape or form.  They may not even be doing this conciously , but that doesn't change the fact that its happening.  I feel like total crap.  I have these slumps every so often where I get depressed for a few weeks, and then it lifts, so I'm hoping this'll lift in the near future. 

Enough about personal junk.  I promise to put my ramble about racism up as soon as I get the chance to write it.


"Free your mind and the rest will follow" 

October 4, 1999             

I give Jesse Ventura a lot of credit.  He speaks his mind about organised religion even though he knows how unpopular his view is among those wacky religious people.  I happen to agree with him, and I am so glad he isn't taking back what he said.  When and if he does, I'll lose any respect I ever had for him. 

People who back out of their beliefs are weak.  They do it because other people turn against them or disagree with them, or they feel guilty for something what they said.  It's pathetic. 

Don't say something if you don't have the balls to defend it.


"It's the end of the world as we know it"

October 1, 1999

The end of the world is coming or something.  Strange things keep happening to me.  For example:

Ok so maybe that's not evidence to the end of the world, but it's pretty bizzare to me. 

Do you have any idea, by the way, how hard it is to have two webpages that both need to be updated constantly??  It sucks.  I always feel bad that I didn't update this one if I update my T70sS one, and if I update this one I feel like I should update that one.  There is no happy medium.  I really do need to update that one though, which I'll do this weekend if I have a frickin' minute.   See, tomorrow I'm going shopping in the morning and then to work.  Then on Sunday, I work in the morning.  When I get home, it's football time and NOTHING can interrupt my family watching a Patriots game.  You non Rhode Islanders cannot understand the importance of football to this state.  We are frickin' obsessed.   You know people say they're not fans, and so a lot of people won't watch a game?   Well that is unheard of here.  No one hates football, and if you do, you watch it anyway.  It's an institution.  Everyone wears their Patriots jerseys/hats/whatever while watching, and they eat food like pizza or chicken wings.   This used to bother me, because I didn't really care much about football, but now I find it kind of comforting.  Don't ask why, I honestly couldn't tell you.